


co-dads

by aerynlallaboso



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, im not typing them all out for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2332403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerynlallaboso/pseuds/aerynlallaboso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamato, getting involved against his better judgement, says, "I am not your parent. And neither is Kakashi," and looks to the latter for support.</p>
<p>Kakashi, being Kakashi, does not provide support. He grins and throws his arm around Yamato's shoulder and says, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe we are."</p>
<p>(a plotless and self-indulgent conversation between Team Seven)</p>
            </blockquote>





	co-dads

**Author's Note:**

> exactly what it says on the tin. dedicated to My co-dad and our kid

"Kakashi-sensei is the mom," Naruto says, nodding enthusiastically.

Sakura shakes her head just as enthusiastically. "No way," she says, and she sounds like she's an authority on the matter. "Captain Yamato is the mom. Trust me on this one."

"I believe," Sai says, inspecting a mouthful of ramen before delicately placing it in his mouth. He chews and swallows. The rest of the team wait rapt for the rest of his sentence, bar Kakashi - who is barely containing laughter - and Yamato, who is attempting to ignore all of them. "Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamato are both the father."

"Of who?" Yamato asks, forgetting that he's not paying attention.

"Of us," Naruto says. He taps his third bowl of ramen and looks at Yamato like he's an idiot. "Me and Sakura and Sai. You're the dad."

"The mom," Sakura corrects.

"No, Kakashi-sensei's the mom."

"Nuh-uh."

Yamato, getting involved against his better judgement, says, "I am not your parent. And neither is Kakashi," and looks to the latter for support.

Kakashi, being Kakashi, does not provide support. He grins and throws his arm around Yamato's shoulder and says, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe we are."

Fuelled by this controversial declaration, Naruto and Sakura begin a renewed argument on which of them is the mother and which is the father, backed-up by several ridiculous stereotypes and Sakura's experience with her own rather ridiculous-sounding parents. Sai eats his ramen.

"I wouldn't want to intrude on Minato-sensei's legacy," Kakashi says airily. "But Naruto does sometimes need a firm hand. Eating his vegetables, for instance-"

Naruto pauses between shouts to stick his tongue out at Kakashi, who makes a subtle, but obscene gesture that he picked up from a Mist-nin he once interrogated. "Naruto has a lot of father figures," he continues, only half-joking by this point. "And I would be proud to consider myself one of them."

A smattering of applause comes from Sai's side of the ramen stall, and a teary sniff from somewhere around the back of old man Teuchi's kitchen.

"I suppose," Yamato concedes.

"Yeah, see?" says Sakura, whose argument with Naruto has concluded in a draw. "You and Kakashi-sensei are like the parents of Team Seven. Dad and -"

Sai drops his chopsticks into his empty bowl with a clatter. "Dad," he finishes for her.

"You know, Tenzo-"

" _Yamato_."

"I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as a co-parent," Kakashi says, affecting a grave and serious tone. Yamato rolls his eyes. "You're so responsible and reliable."

As if to prove his point, Naruto attempts to order three more bowls of ramen at that very moment, a move likely to give him a hefty stomach-ache later in the evening, and Yamato puts the conversation on hold to talk him down to _one_ bowl. The rest of the team watches him carefully.

"Hmm," Sakura says, leaning back to study the scene from a different angle. "Maybe you're right, Sai. They are both the dad."

Sai shrugs artfully. "Although," he says.

"Although?"

"Would that not mean that Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamato would have to get married?"

There is complete and total silence, even from the crowd passing by the ramen stall, before Yamato says dryly, "The only reason Kakashi would ever get married would be so he doesn't have to clean his own apartment."

"Actually," Kakashi says. "That's not a bad idea. What do you say, kohai?"

Sakura snickers.

Yamato glares at him, trying not to flush more than might be suitable in this situation. "I am _not_ marrying you so you can make me clean your apartment."

"No," Kakashi agrees. "You already do that."

Sakura's snickering gets louder. Naruto snorts, the sound muffled by his continuous noodle-slurping.

"Does that mean you would marry Kakashi-sensei for other reasons?" Sai asks, projecting an atmosphere of total and absolute innocence that rivals that of his sensei.

" _Why am I marrying Kakashi_?"

Kakashi looks offended. "You don't want our children to grow up without two parents, do you?"

Silence reigns again momentarily, and then Yamato flashes Kakashi an equally subtle yet obscene gesture he had learnt from a Mist-nin he interrogated while Kakashi worked on the first. "I'm going home," he informs them all, blushing faintly when Naruto, Sakura and Sai pipe up with assorted variations on "bye, dad".

"Oh, but, Yamato," Kakashi says, smiling at him.

Yamato sighs and grumbles, "It's _Yamato_ ," and is briefly struck with intense embarrassment upon realising that Kakashi has, for once, used the right name. "What is it, Kakashi?"

"Who's going to pay the bill?"

Naruto neatens the team's combined eleven-bowl stack and grins.

"I think," Yamato says, his expression brightening slowly as he realises the opportunity his freshly-bestowed 'dad' status has given him. "As co-parents, we should each take responsibility for half of it. You don't want our children to go hungry, do you?"


End file.
